Undusted4

HeyHabib's Schooldays

Flashmonkey: Fag!
Heyhabib: Yes Flashmonkey.
F: I've written a witty poem lampooning the headmaster, the teachers, the prefects: just about everyone apart from myself, really. Go and pin it to the refectory door.
HH: Oooh thank you, Flashmonkey! Was your toilet seat warm enough this morning?
F: I suppose so, but Mrs Flashmonkey wants the keys back. You're beginning to scare the children. Now, run along. Oh and here's a bob. Bring me back a couple of spam crumpets.

...............

Headmodster: Did you stick this up, Habib?
HH: Yeah, what of it?
Hm: Look son, you're a bright enough lad and you're doing well with your A-levels, why do you want to hang around with that lot? They were expelled years ago. Now why don't you start hanging around with your old friends? I know they'd all be pleased to see you at the debating society.
HH: they're bland Sir, vanilla!
Hm: Oh well, 'whatever'. Now off you go and stop plastering the school with those poems.
HH: A- aren't you going to beat me, Sir?
Hm: (Sigh). Look Habib, corporal punishment was abolished in this country in the 1970s. And as far as I am aware, Nelson Mandela street Comprehensive has never permitted the practise of fagging. Now off you go to class. And if you see Flashmonkey, tell him I'm going to call the Community Police Officer if he doesn't stop hanging around the school gates.